Refreshed

It feels so good to have a haircut! It's been two months since my last trim and after my mom left, nobody has ever touched my mane. A lot of times, I felt tempted to go to another hairdresser. I'm so glad I waited to get this sassy cut. I feel 10 pounds lighter!

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At long last, I had my period! Isn't it ironic that while other people are menaced by this monthly visitor, I'm rejoicing that I'm having it? Thank God, the medicine worked! Now I can condition my ovaries to ovulate. Come on, work with me.

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After much trial and error, I finally figured out how to make my own blinkie. Here it is!

And before I forget, Happy 9th month anniversary bebe! (eventhough I know it slipped his mind)

I finally had the time and energy to blog. Things have been so crazy and hectic that I couldn't find the time to write my thoughts.
Okay, so we've been having a hard time conceiving a child. For a while, we thought that we're already on the family way. I missed my period again and this time it's been two months. We tested 2 times and on both occasions, we got a BIG FAT NEGATIVE! So, what's wrong with me? I've been diagnosing myself and ruling out all the impossibilities. That's what's wrong! When we finally had the courage to face reality, we sought the help of a colleague. We went to her with an open mind and a hopeful spirit. Sometimes, it's so hard hope for the best when I know the many different possibilities. I'm so glad we did it. I prayed to God for strength, courage and to bless us with a doctor best suited for our needs. He gave us that. Truly, when you seek...you shall find. We're already on our thirty's. It means that time is of the essence. Nowadays, a couple who hasn't conceived within 6-12 months of having unprotected intercourse is considered an Infertile Couple. This is mostly true when you are desirous of pregnancy. Though I've read and encountered this before, nothing could ever prepare me for this moment. I had to be strong...for my sake and for my husband's as well. I'm so proud of him and thankful that he stood by my side every step of the way.
The following day, we underwent a fertility work-up. It was my first time to undergo a Transvaginal Ultrasound. As I've seen this procedure done many times before, I was daunted. I'm glad that it wasn't as painful as I've anticipated. The easy part was over...waiting for the result was the agonizing part. I couldn't eat or sleep. Hoping for the best. When we saw the result, we were relieved to know that there were no structural abnormalities with my reproductive system and that my problem could just be hormonal. Sigh. We're both taking some medication to increase our chances of conceiving. I hope things go our way soon. Fingers crossed!

Weekend came and I'm off to being a Godparent for the nth time. Not that I'm complaining, I'm actually proud that she trusted me with such a responsibility. She is Sabrina Isabelle,a meek and darling child. Ina is the first child of Mae (my buddy in medschool) whom I spent my classes and lunchbreaks with. We've always teased her on how slowly she does things. For the first time, she got ahead of me by being the first one to have a child. I'm so happy for her. Things may not have worked out for her in the past, but I know now that she's living the life that she has always wanted. She looks so happy and contented, it shows in the way that she cares for husband and her daughter Ina. I just hope I could live up to her expectations.

Before the day ended, we attended Kaela's 7th birthday party next door. My dad was always fond of her. She reminded him of me when I was still young. We went to the same school, she loves Sanrio, she's dark and slim... no wonder! Children's party has a way of making me feel good. Specially when it's time to have a piece of the cake. What a day!

Best of all...My momma's home! Hurray! Snap, snap!
I was so glad to see her again! She gained a couple of pounds, seem more shapely and voluptuous. Oh my mama! Where's my pasalubong? I'm so excited to see what's inside the balikbayan box! To prolong my longing, we dropped by Duty free first. I thought I'd be able to buy a chemise but I was disappointed that Lacoste didn't carry the style that I wanted. Dad bought the checkered brit poloshirt, Jayson bought his Italian sole, and me...None! I'm so envious but I wouldn't buy anything half-heartedly. When we reached the house, I immediately opened the box. And there it was, my big C duffle bag! I just love it. I'm so glad I didn't buy anything at dutyfree. What I got was more than I wanted. Thanks mom! Welcome home!

Footsies Frenzy

I just love shoes! I believe that one is never enough.
Maybe, I'm a little out of my mind that's why I have aqcuired four just this month alone.
Let me start with Havaianas... Honestly, I'm not a fan of this flipflop. I just bought the most basic so my hubby would stop feeling guilty about him buying one. It wasn't a bad buy afterall. I realized that I might end up using this more frequently since we'll be living near the beach.
Then there's this Pink Dolls thong I bought on sale for P500 at Shoe Salon. Can you say cheap? But then again, I couldn't refuse buying the chocolate brown slip on's from Bass... Just because mom told me that she got me a new bag of the same color, doesn't mean I have to buy matching footwear... Wrong! If there's one thing that I stick by when it comes to fashion is to always match this two. Enough said.
But the best buy for me is still the black ballet flats from 9West that I will be using for the office...simple and comfy.
And so I promise not to purchase another one this month... I know I can do it because I'm already broke.

Traveler

One by one, I'm saying goodbye to my personal belongings. First, my laptop then my PDA's, then my clothes, bags, and shoes. What next? All those years that I took care of them, not a scratch or defect, I was sad to see them go. Since I can't bring them all with me on my journey, I'd be happier to see that others are putting them into better use. And so I hope.

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My mom hasn't gone home yet. I miss her terribly. I was always affectionate towards her and am never ashamed to say that I love her. It's just that, sometimes we don't really agree with the decisions that she makes. She's very secretive, to the point that the only time I get to discover something is when things get out of hand and she could no longer keep it private.
I've always admired her for her kindness. Often times, I call her a Saint. That's why other people take advantage of her generosity. Maybe, that's our main difference. She's a Saint, I'm a Sinner. I could never measure up to her golden heart. I just think she's foolish to let others manipulate her in a way. Not that I'm selfish or greedy... I just think that being kind and giving should have limitations.
Thankfully, I also learned from her the virtue of patience. If I didn't, I don't know how I could take my husband's antics. LOL! I guess I learned from the expert! Seeing how my mom dealt with my dad when I was growing up was really a good learning experience.
She just turned 56 last weekend. I hope she had a blast celebrating her birthday. Please come back soon. We're kind of lost without her.

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On a sad note, we just discovered that my Aunt has Breast Cancer. She's my dad's eldest sister...and her favorite sibling. I can see how affected my dad is and we don't know how to react given this situation. It was just last month when she consulted me about this lump she had on her breast. As any physician would advise, I told her to have a Mammogram. And it confirmed all our fears.

She's a strong-willed woman maybe that's why she was able to take it well. It was only after her surgery that we knew about her grave situation. Hopefully, with the help of chemotherapy, she'd be able to fight this battle and succeed. Our prayers go to you.

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And so I leave you with this quote:

" I am only a traveler, a tourist here on earth; and so I travel light - with only a few things as possible. That way I am ready to go on short notice."

- Unknown Monk

Raw

Finally, I was able to work with Adobe Photoshop. All the tutorials payed off. My layouts are still raw and rough on the edges but it seems like a good start for me. I love the versatility of this software. Though Print shop deluxe was a lot easier to use, Adobe really challenges me more. Now, this brings a whole new meaning to the way I digiscrap.

Fresh from the Box

I'm so excited to finally be able to replace my old Sony laptop with a newer and more powerful notebook.
At last, downloading won't take me ages anymore and doing my layouts will be a breeze.
I'm sleep deprived because of this.

Eat Your Cake

Basti...our pet pug, just turned 6 today.
After seeing the dog in the movie Men In Black, I couldn't stop thinking of getting a pug. Well, that was six years ago. My dad who just retired then needed something that would occupy his time. It was perfect timing! Day after day, I would browse through the classified adds hoping to find our future pet. We didn't go to petshops because as we know, most of the pups there were undernourished. Besides, we wanted to get to know or see the breeders and their pets. After some time, we were lucky to find one.

When I first saw Basti, I knew he was the one. He was really mischievous, playful, and full of energy. He had a great smile on his face and his eyes sparkled with glee. I couldn't let go of him! So without further delay, we brought him home. My mom was surprised to see him. Amazed and baffled, she said that she's never seen such an ugly dog. Poor Basti. He's not short of being really good-looking, his face has character. I thought he was the most adorable pug!

After 6 years of living the good life, he's more laid back, not so frivolous, eats more, runs less, and still sweet. As he celebrated his birthday today, I noticed that he was exceptionally more happy. It's as if he knew how special this day is. This is officially the first time he's had a party. He couldn't wait to jump on his cake! After blowing the candles ( which I did for him... wouldn't want to share with his saliva) I gave him his part of the cake and he quickly finished it up to the last crumb. It was a happy day for all of us. This is just a small gift for someone who made a big difference in our lives. He brought so much joy into our home. My only wish is for him to be able to live a healthy and longer life. Happy birthday to my precious brother, friend and companion!

Something Old, Something New

I never looked forward going to the dentist. In as much as I wanted to have my regular prophylaxis, I'm just plain scared of the idea. Braces have a way of instilling an unpleasant experience. It's an engram, dentist=pain!
I'm glad I found a dentist with really light hands. I want so many things done at this point. I wanted to have my teeth bleached but since I can't do without coffee and coke, it seems like an awful waste of money. But if I decide to give that up, that's the first thing I want done. At least, my teeth look better with it's newly shaped form. Now, I can't wait for my next appointment.

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Not long ago, I was really good at bowling. My dad was always the highest scorer when he was still playing. He was not much of an athlete, but he was a great sportsman. I always admired him for that.

As soon as I can lift the bowling ball, I was rolling. I would always ask my hubby to go bowling with me but I couldn't convince him. Last weekend, while waiting for the screentime of the movie, we finally went bowling. I really suck now! With just one hour to play, my arms became weary and my hand kept on shaking. The next day, my body's aching all over that I can't even walk without complaining.

Above all this, I'm still glad we did it.

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I'm learning Adobe Photoshop now. I got really frustrated the last time I used it so I decided to buy a tutorial. This is so far the hardest, most complex photo-editing tool I have ever used. I guess I just have to practice more to get the hang of it. Someone, please shower me with some patience dust.

Bon Voyage

And so my mom left for the states already...

On the way to the airport, there was an uncomfortable silence in the car. No one was talking, trying to hold back the tears. We're sad to see her go just because we'll be missing her a lot. We're so used to being together everyday that one month is an awful lot of time to be apart.

Now, I'm in-charge of the house. Aside from the other duties she left to me, the last thing mom told me is to take care of my dad. Well, that goes without saying. My dad is such a tough cookie to handle, not to mention a really big baby. Not long after we came home, we were already haggling with the finances. Poor dad, he never stood a chance! Oh, mom! What will I do without you? I miss you already.

Traveler

Back to the old days. I've been having a hard time breezing through the internet. First, since my dsl server was always down...we had it disconnected. We also changed our phone line to PLDT. Bayantel's service really sucks! I don't recall a time when I successfully connected with a line other than theirs. Oh, the trouble I had to go through just to take a peek at my blog.

So many things happened in the past two weeks.
First, my grandma passed away already. She's my Apo Eleng, the one who took care of me from birth to my teenage years. I only have fond memories of her. She passed away swiftly. She suffered from Pneumonia and Septicemia...putting her in high risk and succumbing to death. I was holding her hand when she took her last breath. There was nothing I can do.

We had to travel by boat for her burial. Amidst the typhoon and flood, we arrived safely. It was Jayson's first time for a boat ride. While he was busy disguising his anxiety, the ride brought a lot of memories from my childhood. It's been ages since I last went to Nigui, Pampanga. Things haven't changed much. And the only reason I'm coming back is to see my Apo for the last time.
Her demise brought sorrow to my soul. Apo Eleng will always have a special place in my heart. I know she's in a better place now and that's enough consolation.

Last week, my mother-in-law left for PNG. Soon we'll be doing the same thing. I'm still conditioning myself for this change. This weekend, my mom will be leaving for the states. Since there was no way of stopping her, better do it now while I'm still here. It's better that way. My dad won't be left alone and he wouldn't feel the loneliness as much. Besides, I'm still looking forward to some pasalubong!

A lot of things still needs to be dealt with. For now, I'm taking things one day at a time.