I whipped up some LO's a day after Christmas... and with all the photos I have, inspiration wasn't a problem.

Loving Arms!
Credits:
Awfully Chocolate kit by Jasbeanie, Funky Rudolph kit by Mari K
Font: Susie's Hand, My Old Remington

Oh, and yes! It's my dear husband's 32nd birthday today. Happy birthday, bebe!

Credits:
WinterBlue Kit by Holly McCaig
Font: Angel

Eat, Drink, Be Merry

Merry Christmas, everyone!
I just love the holidays! This year's Christmas celebration is something that I will always cherish. It's more joyous, more sentimental and everything in between. We started by dressing up my pet, Basti so he could have his holiday photo taken. He's such a cutie! Don't you think?

Then we grilled some lamb and pork chop marinated with Jack Daniel's whisky for dinner. I am not deeply religious that's why I didn't go to the midnight mass. Took a break and waited for 12 o'clock to eat Noche Buena. It was delightful!

For the first time, my dh's family joined us in celebrating. We ate, drank and exchanged gifts. It's fun to see people's faces light up when they receive presents. And even though I didn't receive any, I felt better seeing our family enjoy theirs. "It's better to give...than to receive?"...mostly true, but I have some selfish moods too and I love receiving presents. I guess I should be thankful for the blessings that cannot be measured materially.
And yes, it's my first Christmas with my husband. The more I'm thrilled to celebrate and make it special. I took on the task of cooking which I don't normally do. No big deal, I loved having done it for my loved ones.
Flashback: a week before Christmas, we ate at CPK and ordered the Penne with Italian sausages. We really loved it that's why I wanted to replicate it at home. 2days before the 24th, we we're desperately looking for Italian sausages to go with the pasta. We finally found it but wasn't sure if it's the same thing.
And so back with my story, I'm just glad that my family loved what I had prepared.
Ok, my thoughts are a little disorganized. That's what happens when I'm genuinely happy. Thanks for bearing with me.
For now, I bid you this... "Feliz Navidad!"

Cheers!

The latest

Here's a LO I did for Val's newest kit 29 degrees. It's a fun kit with shades of red and purple and some doodles. It's really a kit that you can use even after the holidays.
Laughter Credits:
29 Degrees kit by Valerie Fowler at The Digichick
Font: MA Flirty

A week and one wedding later, our local version of Santa just left. He came all the way to the Philippines from Virginia just to attend a relative's wedding. For the past few days, we've been busy accompanying our uncle (actually, my husband's uncle) get around town. I must have gained a couple of pounds from the constant eating. Traffic is so bad during the holidays and that makes it even harder. Even though it was a bit tiring, we wouldn't underestimate the fact that we really had fun spending time with him. Uncle Nestor is such a kind-hearted and generous man that's why we call him Santa. Hohoho! Now, he's off to his family in the US just in time for the holidays. We'll surely miss him here! 'Til we meet again, maybe next year.

Holiday
Credits:
Paper kits: Holiday Magic by Shabby Princess, Awfully Chocolate by Jasbeanie
Elements: Scalloped ribbon and green button by Shabby Princess, Vintage Christmas elements by Sara Carling, Christmas angel by Gina Cabrera
Brushes: Hohoho by Holly McCaig, A little Flakey by Kristy Nerness at The Digichick

Jayson has been gone for two days and I'm left all alone for my oB's appointment. I had another TVS to monitor my follicles and guess what I found out...I have PCOS. Suddenly, it became clear to me why we are having a hard time conceiving. I wanted to cry over the matter but there's no reason for me to feel rotten about it except for the GI upset that I'm experiencing with my new medication. I'm still optimistic that somehow, with luck and a lot of prayers, the hard things would seem easy.

When my husband came from his trip, he granted my Christmas wish. Maybe he thought that this was the right time to give it to me, being sad and everything. It may seem superficial but I feel much better now. I have a new toy that would take my mind off of things. I'm loving it!

Wacom

Here's the first LO I did using my Graphire4 tablet.

Carnival

Credits:
Autumn Picnic Kit by Valerie Fowler at The Digichick
Font: Fontdiner
Brush: Miss M

Your Hair Should Be White

Classy, stylish, and eloquent. You've got a way about you that floors everyone you meet.

What's Your Funky Inner Hair Color?

Funky Time

So happy to receive the news today. Finally! Woohoo! We got the approval from the medical boards already. So, I have one more month to prepare for the migration. Just waiting for our visa then we're gone.
Adios, Filipinas! Hahaha. Oooh, so ecstatic! Can't wait to pack my suitcase.

I'm back on the computer. I've been busy lately giving a tour to our Uncle who came home from the US. I barely have enough time for myself. But I just can't resist working on Mari's new kit Funky Rudolph. I really love this kit because it has one of my favorite colors which is plum/berry. It's supposed to be a Christmas themed kit but being the rebel that I am, I decided to do away with the Christmas photo. I really liked how it turned out.

Credits:
Funky Rudolph kit by Mari Koegelenberg at Digitalscrapbookpages
Font: Fontdiner

Just when you thought you've had enough, another one comes along.
Have you ever had that feeling that something is just so beautiful to let go?
When I saw Mari's work, I was blown away. I love the colors that she used on her kits. I also like the fact that she makes a complete one, with the ribbons, brads, anything that one just might need. That's just what I'm looking for!
I'm glad she still chose me as one of her Creative team members. Though, I remember submitting my application past the deadline. This one is special just because I'm one of her very first CT.
Thanks for the opportunity, Mari!



Holiday Greetings

Credits:
Wonderland Kit by Mari Koegelenberg at The Digitalscrapbookpages
Font: Dear Joe

Juice

Been busy working on the computer lately trying to squeeze out my creative juice. Thankfuly, Val provided two equally wonderful kits to work with. All I had to do is to find that perfect photo.
My latest model is Isabelle. She's the daughter of my friend back in college. She's so photogenic and loves to pose for the camera. Isn't she a darling?




Sparks
Credits:
Trying to be Girly Kit by Valerie Fowler at The Digichicks
Font: Schoolgirl and Arial



Pretty Credits:
Foxy Kit by Valeri Fowler at The Digichick boutique
Fonts: Top Secret, Jane Austen, Arial

When it rains, it pours!

I'm so glad to be part of Val's Gals. I chose to submit my application to Val(Valerie Fowler) because I love the softness of the colors and the simplicity of her creations. The kits are so versatile and full of possibilities. Most of all, I'm glad to be on one of The Digichick's Designers' team. The Digichicks is really where I grew as an artist. It's shall I say...My Home.

Congratulations to all who made it to the Team.
Michelle Pearson
Tegan Coffman
Jennifer Boyce
Lyndsey Deeds
Amy Tayler
Laura Alpuche
*Me*

Just to be working along with other talented artists and designers is a great honor from me.

So, what's a doctor like me doing in the artistic realm. I don't know. I'm just glad that both sides of my brain is working.
Golly, so excited to scrap!

Honky Tonk Tonk

Click here and see where it takes you. I'm head over heels! Can you tell?

In line with that, I'm off to my scrapping mood again. Here are some LO's I did for Citrus Blossoms.


All Paws Happiness

Credits:
Kit: All Paws by Amber McDonald at Citrus Blossoms

San Diego Simple Joy

Credits:
Kit: San Diego by Amber McDonald at Citrus Blossoms
Font: Jane Austen

Wishful

So, I'm not pregnant! It's ok. This time, I don't feel the sadness and disappointment as much. Quite a big improvement from last month. We went to our doctor for another consultation. As expected, I'd still be taking some medication to increase our chances. We'll never give up hope. As long as we can do something to hasten the process, we will do it. It's what my doctor calls "responsible parenthood". Fingers crossed!

Speaking of wishes, I'd like to thank Kristy Nerness for the beautiful kit she sent me. I was browsing her blog and noticed that she had this delightful kit made. It was so kind of her to surprise me with this one. It was totally unexpected, like making a silent wish come true. Thanks again, Kristy!

Wishful


Credits:
Kit: "I Wish" by Kristy Nerness available at The Digichick
Elements: Staples and Hinge by Fernlili
Font: Selfish

My LO's are up at Fernlili's Gallery. Check it out! I'm so happy to see other people appreciate the things I do. It just makes me want to roll up my sleeves and improve myself more.

With this photo of my nephew, CJ, I tried editing it with Optik Verve's visual photographer. I also twinked a little with the custom shapes to create the jester's hat. This LO was inspired by Fernlili's Happy Holidays kit. It's so versatile that I thought of using it for a non-Christmas themed shot. I guess it turned out fine.




TimesLikeThese!

Credits:Kit: Happy Holidays by FernliliFont: Fontdiner

Let it Snow!

Credits:
Kit: Happy Holidays at Fernlilis.com
Font: Snowcaps, Santa's Sleigh, Jane Austen

My second LO using the kit was inspired by my mom's photo. This was the first Christmas that we spent apart from each other. I had a slight technical difficulty with the photo because the resolution isn't that good even after trying to repair it. Anyway, it's the essence of Christmas I'm after.

It's been two days and I still haven't had a good night sleep. After watching The Exorcism of Emily Rose, I'd never want to stay up until 3:00am. I won't be giving out anymore details regarding the movie but if you want to be haunted, this is the movie for you. The funny thing is, it scared the hell out of me! The last time I felt petrified and had goosebumps with a movie was with "The Sixth Sense". How long ago was that?
Anyway, to contribute to the sleepless nights, I still have the Medical Board approval to think about. I hope it's good news this time! If things don't go our way, we would have to go on a different direction. Plan B. What is plan B? I'd have to figure it out.

Zaphyrus

In time for Thanksgiving and the coming Holiday season, there's a 40% discount on all the Full kits available at Fernlilis.com. Sale runs until the 25th of December.
Dragonfly!

Credits:
Kit: Zaphyrus available at Fernlilis.com
Font: MammaGamma
Brush: Vanilla

Frog Prince!

Credits:
Kit: Zaphyrus at Fernlilis.com
Font: First Grader

Fire in the House

We finally had the chance to see the latest Harry Potter movie {The Goblet of Fire}. Yipee! Though I'm really not that much into reading the HP series, I sure do enjoy watching the movie rendition.
As usual, the ticketnet was filled with swarms of people, trying to find where the line starts and ends. We waited 30 minutes for our turn to get the tickets and were disappointed that we didn't get the reserved seats. Meaning, we would have to fall in line at least 30 minutes early for us to get some decent seats.
I don't know why, but for some reason, whenever we see a movie at G4, we always wind up miserable. You see, it's one thing to be enthusiastic about the movie but it's a different story when you start chatting inside the cinema. This really pisses me off! Unfortunately for us, the two guys sitting behind us never shut their freaking mouths. Early in the movie, we sort of had a clue regarding the ending. No Thanks, to the two morons narrating the story. Irritated, my hubby tried to ask them to keep their voices down. They were a bunch of numb freaks. Talking as if everybody has read the book. So again, J furiously asked them to shut up! How insensitive can they be? I thought we'll be caught up in a fight. I guess they got intimidated a little and decided to mellow down.
Moral of the story: Try not to watch a movie at G4. Gateway is the way to go!
Just the same, I enjoyed watching. Can't wait for the next one.

I'm on a roll! I just can't stop digiscrapping. As soon as I got hold of Fernlili's 2 newest kit, I've been busting my a**. I'm so delighted to use these kits, and for some reason, I only decided to buy a scanner now.
I still don't have a phone line so every now and then, I visit the neighborhood cyber cafe just to upload my LO's and blog on the side.

Without further ado, here are some of the LO's

Kit: "Announcing Ella" by Fernlili available at Fernlili's.Com

Sweet Mandy:


Twosome:



Kit: "Announcing Ethan" by Fernlili

Summer Breeze:


Strong Soul:


Lastly, I'm so excited to receive my blinkie from Fernlili. Now, it's official.

Fernlili's Team

So, Ive been neglecting my blog lately. Not that I don't have the time...believe me, I have all the time in the world. It's just that nothing spectacular has happened in my life lately...Until, today.
I woke up with an email from Fernlili, Yipee! Who is she? Just one my favorite scrapbooking kit designers, that's who. She gave me the good news of being part of her Creative team. As you know, I've been involved in digiscrapping for several months now. It's my first time to be part of a creative team in the digital scrapbooking world. I'm so happy and thankful for the opportunity!
Oh, I'm so excited to work with her kits. Can't wait to get started.

* * *

I'm supposed to upload some LO's I did this week but the our server has been down for a while. I'd have to go outside just to blog. Darn it!

Refreshed

It feels so good to have a haircut! It's been two months since my last trim and after my mom left, nobody has ever touched my mane. A lot of times, I felt tempted to go to another hairdresser. I'm so glad I waited to get this sassy cut. I feel 10 pounds lighter!

* * *

At long last, I had my period! Isn't it ironic that while other people are menaced by this monthly visitor, I'm rejoicing that I'm having it? Thank God, the medicine worked! Now I can condition my ovaries to ovulate. Come on, work with me.

* * *

After much trial and error, I finally figured out how to make my own blinkie. Here it is!

And before I forget, Happy 9th month anniversary bebe! (eventhough I know it slipped his mind)

I finally had the time and energy to blog. Things have been so crazy and hectic that I couldn't find the time to write my thoughts.
Okay, so we've been having a hard time conceiving a child. For a while, we thought that we're already on the family way. I missed my period again and this time it's been two months. We tested 2 times and on both occasions, we got a BIG FAT NEGATIVE! So, what's wrong with me? I've been diagnosing myself and ruling out all the impossibilities. That's what's wrong! When we finally had the courage to face reality, we sought the help of a colleague. We went to her with an open mind and a hopeful spirit. Sometimes, it's so hard hope for the best when I know the many different possibilities. I'm so glad we did it. I prayed to God for strength, courage and to bless us with a doctor best suited for our needs. He gave us that. Truly, when you seek...you shall find. We're already on our thirty's. It means that time is of the essence. Nowadays, a couple who hasn't conceived within 6-12 months of having unprotected intercourse is considered an Infertile Couple. This is mostly true when you are desirous of pregnancy. Though I've read and encountered this before, nothing could ever prepare me for this moment. I had to be strong...for my sake and for my husband's as well. I'm so proud of him and thankful that he stood by my side every step of the way.
The following day, we underwent a fertility work-up. It was my first time to undergo a Transvaginal Ultrasound. As I've seen this procedure done many times before, I was daunted. I'm glad that it wasn't as painful as I've anticipated. The easy part was over...waiting for the result was the agonizing part. I couldn't eat or sleep. Hoping for the best. When we saw the result, we were relieved to know that there were no structural abnormalities with my reproductive system and that my problem could just be hormonal. Sigh. We're both taking some medication to increase our chances of conceiving. I hope things go our way soon. Fingers crossed!

Weekend came and I'm off to being a Godparent for the nth time. Not that I'm complaining, I'm actually proud that she trusted me with such a responsibility. She is Sabrina Isabelle,a meek and darling child. Ina is the first child of Mae (my buddy in medschool) whom I spent my classes and lunchbreaks with. We've always teased her on how slowly she does things. For the first time, she got ahead of me by being the first one to have a child. I'm so happy for her. Things may not have worked out for her in the past, but I know now that she's living the life that she has always wanted. She looks so happy and contented, it shows in the way that she cares for husband and her daughter Ina. I just hope I could live up to her expectations.

Before the day ended, we attended Kaela's 7th birthday party next door. My dad was always fond of her. She reminded him of me when I was still young. We went to the same school, she loves Sanrio, she's dark and slim... no wonder! Children's party has a way of making me feel good. Specially when it's time to have a piece of the cake. What a day!

Best of all...My momma's home! Hurray! Snap, snap!
I was so glad to see her again! She gained a couple of pounds, seem more shapely and voluptuous. Oh my mama! Where's my pasalubong? I'm so excited to see what's inside the balikbayan box! To prolong my longing, we dropped by Duty free first. I thought I'd be able to buy a chemise but I was disappointed that Lacoste didn't carry the style that I wanted. Dad bought the checkered brit poloshirt, Jayson bought his Italian sole, and me...None! I'm so envious but I wouldn't buy anything half-heartedly. When we reached the house, I immediately opened the box. And there it was, my big C duffle bag! I just love it. I'm so glad I didn't buy anything at dutyfree. What I got was more than I wanted. Thanks mom! Welcome home!

Footsies Frenzy

I just love shoes! I believe that one is never enough.
Maybe, I'm a little out of my mind that's why I have aqcuired four just this month alone.
Let me start with Havaianas... Honestly, I'm not a fan of this flipflop. I just bought the most basic so my hubby would stop feeling guilty about him buying one. It wasn't a bad buy afterall. I realized that I might end up using this more frequently since we'll be living near the beach.
Then there's this Pink Dolls thong I bought on sale for P500 at Shoe Salon. Can you say cheap? But then again, I couldn't refuse buying the chocolate brown slip on's from Bass... Just because mom told me that she got me a new bag of the same color, doesn't mean I have to buy matching footwear... Wrong! If there's one thing that I stick by when it comes to fashion is to always match this two. Enough said.
But the best buy for me is still the black ballet flats from 9West that I will be using for the office...simple and comfy.
And so I promise not to purchase another one this month... I know I can do it because I'm already broke.

Traveler

One by one, I'm saying goodbye to my personal belongings. First, my laptop then my PDA's, then my clothes, bags, and shoes. What next? All those years that I took care of them, not a scratch or defect, I was sad to see them go. Since I can't bring them all with me on my journey, I'd be happier to see that others are putting them into better use. And so I hope.

+ + +

My mom hasn't gone home yet. I miss her terribly. I was always affectionate towards her and am never ashamed to say that I love her. It's just that, sometimes we don't really agree with the decisions that she makes. She's very secretive, to the point that the only time I get to discover something is when things get out of hand and she could no longer keep it private.
I've always admired her for her kindness. Often times, I call her a Saint. That's why other people take advantage of her generosity. Maybe, that's our main difference. She's a Saint, I'm a Sinner. I could never measure up to her golden heart. I just think she's foolish to let others manipulate her in a way. Not that I'm selfish or greedy... I just think that being kind and giving should have limitations.
Thankfully, I also learned from her the virtue of patience. If I didn't, I don't know how I could take my husband's antics. LOL! I guess I learned from the expert! Seeing how my mom dealt with my dad when I was growing up was really a good learning experience.
She just turned 56 last weekend. I hope she had a blast celebrating her birthday. Please come back soon. We're kind of lost without her.

+ + +

On a sad note, we just discovered that my Aunt has Breast Cancer. She's my dad's eldest sister...and her favorite sibling. I can see how affected my dad is and we don't know how to react given this situation. It was just last month when she consulted me about this lump she had on her breast. As any physician would advise, I told her to have a Mammogram. And it confirmed all our fears.

She's a strong-willed woman maybe that's why she was able to take it well. It was only after her surgery that we knew about her grave situation. Hopefully, with the help of chemotherapy, she'd be able to fight this battle and succeed. Our prayers go to you.

+ + +

And so I leave you with this quote:

" I am only a traveler, a tourist here on earth; and so I travel light - with only a few things as possible. That way I am ready to go on short notice."

- Unknown Monk

Raw

Finally, I was able to work with Adobe Photoshop. All the tutorials payed off. My layouts are still raw and rough on the edges but it seems like a good start for me. I love the versatility of this software. Though Print shop deluxe was a lot easier to use, Adobe really challenges me more. Now, this brings a whole new meaning to the way I digiscrap.

Fresh from the Box

I'm so excited to finally be able to replace my old Sony laptop with a newer and more powerful notebook.
At last, downloading won't take me ages anymore and doing my layouts will be a breeze.
I'm sleep deprived because of this.

Eat Your Cake

Basti...our pet pug, just turned 6 today.
After seeing the dog in the movie Men In Black, I couldn't stop thinking of getting a pug. Well, that was six years ago. My dad who just retired then needed something that would occupy his time. It was perfect timing! Day after day, I would browse through the classified adds hoping to find our future pet. We didn't go to petshops because as we know, most of the pups there were undernourished. Besides, we wanted to get to know or see the breeders and their pets. After some time, we were lucky to find one.

When I first saw Basti, I knew he was the one. He was really mischievous, playful, and full of energy. He had a great smile on his face and his eyes sparkled with glee. I couldn't let go of him! So without further delay, we brought him home. My mom was surprised to see him. Amazed and baffled, she said that she's never seen such an ugly dog. Poor Basti. He's not short of being really good-looking, his face has character. I thought he was the most adorable pug!

After 6 years of living the good life, he's more laid back, not so frivolous, eats more, runs less, and still sweet. As he celebrated his birthday today, I noticed that he was exceptionally more happy. It's as if he knew how special this day is. This is officially the first time he's had a party. He couldn't wait to jump on his cake! After blowing the candles ( which I did for him... wouldn't want to share with his saliva) I gave him his part of the cake and he quickly finished it up to the last crumb. It was a happy day for all of us. This is just a small gift for someone who made a big difference in our lives. He brought so much joy into our home. My only wish is for him to be able to live a healthy and longer life. Happy birthday to my precious brother, friend and companion!

Something Old, Something New

I never looked forward going to the dentist. In as much as I wanted to have my regular prophylaxis, I'm just plain scared of the idea. Braces have a way of instilling an unpleasant experience. It's an engram, dentist=pain!
I'm glad I found a dentist with really light hands. I want so many things done at this point. I wanted to have my teeth bleached but since I can't do without coffee and coke, it seems like an awful waste of money. But if I decide to give that up, that's the first thing I want done. At least, my teeth look better with it's newly shaped form. Now, I can't wait for my next appointment.

+ + +

Not long ago, I was really good at bowling. My dad was always the highest scorer when he was still playing. He was not much of an athlete, but he was a great sportsman. I always admired him for that.

As soon as I can lift the bowling ball, I was rolling. I would always ask my hubby to go bowling with me but I couldn't convince him. Last weekend, while waiting for the screentime of the movie, we finally went bowling. I really suck now! With just one hour to play, my arms became weary and my hand kept on shaking. The next day, my body's aching all over that I can't even walk without complaining.

Above all this, I'm still glad we did it.

+ + +

I'm learning Adobe Photoshop now. I got really frustrated the last time I used it so I decided to buy a tutorial. This is so far the hardest, most complex photo-editing tool I have ever used. I guess I just have to practice more to get the hang of it. Someone, please shower me with some patience dust.

Bon Voyage

And so my mom left for the states already...

On the way to the airport, there was an uncomfortable silence in the car. No one was talking, trying to hold back the tears. We're sad to see her go just because we'll be missing her a lot. We're so used to being together everyday that one month is an awful lot of time to be apart.

Now, I'm in-charge of the house. Aside from the other duties she left to me, the last thing mom told me is to take care of my dad. Well, that goes without saying. My dad is such a tough cookie to handle, not to mention a really big baby. Not long after we came home, we were already haggling with the finances. Poor dad, he never stood a chance! Oh, mom! What will I do without you? I miss you already.

Traveler

Back to the old days. I've been having a hard time breezing through the internet. First, since my dsl server was always down...we had it disconnected. We also changed our phone line to PLDT. Bayantel's service really sucks! I don't recall a time when I successfully connected with a line other than theirs. Oh, the trouble I had to go through just to take a peek at my blog.

So many things happened in the past two weeks.
First, my grandma passed away already. She's my Apo Eleng, the one who took care of me from birth to my teenage years. I only have fond memories of her. She passed away swiftly. She suffered from Pneumonia and Septicemia...putting her in high risk and succumbing to death. I was holding her hand when she took her last breath. There was nothing I can do.

We had to travel by boat for her burial. Amidst the typhoon and flood, we arrived safely. It was Jayson's first time for a boat ride. While he was busy disguising his anxiety, the ride brought a lot of memories from my childhood. It's been ages since I last went to Nigui, Pampanga. Things haven't changed much. And the only reason I'm coming back is to see my Apo for the last time.
Her demise brought sorrow to my soul. Apo Eleng will always have a special place in my heart. I know she's in a better place now and that's enough consolation.

Last week, my mother-in-law left for PNG. Soon we'll be doing the same thing. I'm still conditioning myself for this change. This weekend, my mom will be leaving for the states. Since there was no way of stopping her, better do it now while I'm still here. It's better that way. My dad won't be left alone and he wouldn't feel the loneliness as much. Besides, I'm still looking forward to some pasalubong!

A lot of things still needs to be dealt with. For now, I'm taking things one day at a time.

Still TTC

After 6 weeks of waiting...with just one drop, I knew it was gone.
Deep down I'm still hoping that this was just a case of implantation bleeding.
I pray that it's just what I thought it was.
Just when we accepted that we had it made...
this happened to the best of us.

Sorry folks. No good news this time.

Pandemonium

Finally, a chance to blog again. Our server has been down for a while and I couldn't do much with the computer.

Wednesday: Got the NBI clearance already. Needless to say, the photo was awful. I look constipated. We had lunch at Plato Platina in Blue Wave. We ordered Pasta Marinara, All-meat Pizza, Pollo a la Salvatorre (chicken courdon bleu in red sauce) and Pollo a la Gorge (grilled chicken with mushroom sauce). The chicken was a bit flaky but overall, it was flavorful. The serving is just enough for one person, not much for sharing. The price is also reasonable. Did I mention dessert? The Mango creme pie is very light, not too sweet. On the otherhand, the Decadent chocolate cake came a bit short of its name.
By 8pm, we were already at the airport to pick up Jayson's mom. The first thing she asked of Flor( my SIL) and I is "Wala pa bang laman?" (sabay hampas sa mga tiyan namin) Oh well, in as much as we wanted to have one...there's nothing... or at least, I haven't confirmed it yet. It's still early to conclude and I don't want to give them false hopes at this point. We had dinner at Seaside Market where food is overflowing. It's the perfect place to pig-out when you're craving for seafood. Afterwhich, Jayson had to bring his mom home to bulacan for Tito Eddie's internment.

Thursday: Dad went home to Lubao, Pampanga. My aunt called him saying that my grandma has been calling out for his name, sort of making a roll-call. My grandma is 93 years old. She's bedridden, with a bad eyesight and short of hearing. She almost died a couple of times...but she is one hell of a fighter. I remember she told me that she wanted to see me pregnant before she finally lays to rest. Pressure...
Come night time, it was late and my dad has not come home yet. I was getting worried that something might have happened to him on his way home. I couldn't call him because he didn't carry a cellphone. So, I just waited in vain. When he finally arrived, he told me his horrifying experience. He got involved in a freak accident along the highway. Apparently, he was driving fast (100km/hr) and didn't see the bridge was under construction. NLEX is poorly lighted, there were no warning devices and no signs of construction ahead. In an attempt to avoid the rutt, he stepped on the brakes and started spinning madly... much like the scene from Tom Cruise's MI2. Aside from him getting shocked, and some minor scratches on the vehicle, my dad was safe. Oh dad, what will I do without you? Thank God, he was wearing a seatbelt.

Friday night: Had some flower arrangement done at Dangwa and brought it to Bulacan. Accompanied my parents to Tito Eddie's wake. I had a bad experience with one of Jayson's family friends. When we arrived at the wake, as a sign of respect or just plain courtesy, I made "Mano" to the elderlies. Because the house was small and crowded, I reached in with my left hand as there was somebody blocking my right side. This old lady, which was the bestfriend of Jayson's aunt, just blurted with disgust that I did the "mano" with the wrong hand. I was humiliated. Good thing my parent's didn't hear her make such a nasty comment. I learned my lesson and I'm sticking to it. Never again will I come near her. She disrepected me and I don't think that people who don't respect others should not expect to be treated with respect too.

Saturday-Sunday: Went home to bulacan again for the funeral. It was a dark time for the family. While the immediate family was weeping in silence, here comes the superstar crying out loud. It was so annoying to see. If she didn't care much for the dead when he was still alive and fighting for his life, why should she start caring now? All this drama is lame. More like the payed crying ladies seen in movies. And the Best actress award goes to her. It's all superficial.

Monday: It's our 9th year anniversary! Jayson's still with his mom in Bulacan. I spent the day working on our digiscrapbook. Another year, and we totally forgot about it!

Change of Name

I'm so relieved that my travel documents have been dealt with. Getting married sure does add some extra tasks like having your name changed. I felt nostalgic saying goodbye to my Maiden name. Well, that comes with getting married.

Since I hate queue's, I tried to do things that can be accomplished through the internet.

Marriage Certificate/Birth Certificate:
www.census.gov.ph or dial 737-1111
P300 at Metrobank
5 -7 days processing

Passport:
www.passport.com.ph or dial 737-1000
P1,300 only
2 passport size photo, no name and signature, white background, shirt/blouse with collar and
sleeves
Marriage certificate from NSO or certified true copy of marriage contract from city hall in Sepca
paper and authenticated by NSO
Old passport
Use your married name in the application form
Be present on the said pick-up and delivery date

PRC license:
2 passport size photo with name at the buttom
Marriage certificate from NSO only
photocopy of license back-to-back
Fill-up green form for renewal and change of name -- entrance
get form for Change of Name (white paper), have it notarized P40--2nd flr. main bldg.
Records verification -- section B 1st flr. main bldg.
Grade verification -- annex bldg near entrance
Pay at the cashier P475 and P21 for documentary stamp
Submit all document at the Office of the Secreatary -- 3rd flr. main bldg.
1-2 months processing

NBI clearance:
NBI bldg. Carriedo st. Quiapo Manila
Pay P20 entrance and P115 for the clearance itself
3-5 days before releasing

Thankfully, all these Government agencies were efficient in delivering services.

In 3's

They say that death comes in three's. I am slightly superstitious that's why I can be a sucker for traditional beliefs. Last week, there were three deaths in the family. Thankfully, It didn't involve the people I hold dearest to my heart. I don't think I could hold on to my sanity if something should happen to them. Incidents like these reminds me to call on God. I am not deeply religious. I barely go to church but when I do, I make sure that I give myself to His service.

It was my mother-in-law's brother that passed away last wednesday. The day before that, he suffered a massive stroke (intracerebral hemorrhage) which sent him to a catastrophic, comatose state. We were not there to make the initial assessment nor were we in a position to decide which road the family should take. The hardest part of my profession is making these so-called life changing decisions. How do we tell the relatives that there is no hope? We don't. We give them options even if the situation seem bleek. It's just depressing to see that ultimately, the final dictate will still revolve around the financial capability of the family. For the wealthy, the choices are limitless. For the impoverished, there is no choice. But for everyone, there is always hope...even in the slightest of possibilities.

We spent the weekend in Bulacan with Jayson's siblings. For the first time, I enjoyed it. No tension, no rivalry, no negative vibes...it felt great! They're my family now, and we do have each other to rely on. The family's darkest hours brought us together.

On a lighter note, I was able to snatch some time to work on my digiscrapbook. For this weekend, I was able to make three layouts. I tried doing it in Adobe. It's much too complicated for me. Good thing I have a software that's easy to use...made for slow-learners like me. It's a little draining but the outcome is soooo...worth it! Check it out here.

Gateway

Weekends are dedicated for watching movies. This time around, we went to Cubao to check out the newest mall in town, Gateway. Since we hardly go there, I was amazed that I can still navigate thru the streets of Cubao. It's been months since our last visit. During the time when Alicia Keys had her concert in Araneta Coliseum, the mall was still on its finishing stage. I really like this particular mall. It may be small but the shops that I often go to are all there. I was delighted.

We ate dinner at Burgoo. We ordered Grilled Pork Chops, Grilled Chicken Americana with Angel Hair Pasta in Pomondoro sauce and the Baby Back Ribs platter with shrimps and sausages. All tasted bland! Total waste of money.

Next, it's movie time! The theater was very modern, clean and orderly. The ticketnet was overflowing with people. My only qualm is that you still have to go out of the cinema if you want to use the restroom. We watched Tom Cruise's latest movie, War of the Worlds. I was a little disappointed with the film. I guess I expected more from Spielberg and Cruise.

+ + +

Somehow, whenever I think of Cubao, the first thing that comes to mind is C.O.D. My fondest childhood memories of the Christmas season were spent watching the yearly mechanical show in front of the store. A lot has changed. The covered Fiesta Carnival is now an open park. I was not able to see the famous Gregg shoes stall, maybe it's no longer there. I didn't even know that there was such a mall called Shopwise. Overall, I think it has changed for the better.

5th

I had a burst of inspiration from the email I got from "the Knot". I almost forgot our anniversary. Technically speaking, it falls every 31st of the month. But for some obvious reason...we need to settle for another date. No biggie! It's just a number.

5 Months after:
- got the album and video already
- halfway through the wedding scrapbook
- documents for migration still being
processed
- openned a joint account
- set-up a clinic
- export crystal jewelry to PNG
- got marriage license from NSO
- had my passport ammended for
adoption of married name
- had some new hobbies (see the
picture I laid-out)
- still waiting for a miracle

Since I have to renew my passport, I had my picture taken at Kodak Retiro ridden with eyebags and zits on the forehead. No choice, i had to make do with the face I have. When Jayson picked it up from the studio, he said he was surprised to see my picture on display. Nyek! Dyahe! Di kaya ginu-good time na naman ako nun?

+++

Yesterday was crazy! A movie/teleserya/commercial (no idea) was shot at the store across our home. Sabi ng daddy, "May shooting sa labas!" Being a sucker for gossip, I followed him and looked through the window. "Ano yan? Daming tao! Sinong bida? Nge! walang sikat? Sus, kala ko makikita ko na si Hero and Sandara." Disappointed, I left. Must be another one of those LBM's (low budget movies).

And the cough builds on... Sa mga kababayan ko, sabay sabay tayong mag-Whoof! whoof!

Washerwoman's hands

How often do we say Thank you?
Since our house helper is out of town this past few days, I took on her role of washing the dishes. Not really a big deal since I'm used to doing it during my medschool years. Being in pad of my own somehow taught me the pleasure and pain of independence.
Now, I'm back to living with my parents. Back to the comfort zone.
Funny though, after eating our meal, my dad offered to do the dishes. Maybe he thought his princess didn't know how. It's so sweet of him to put my comfort ahead of his. I smiled and was grateful for this tiny gesture of love. Thanks daddy, but I couldn't let you do this task for me.
I love my dad. And even now that I've grown old, I know that when he looks at me...he sees the face of his little girl.

Lately, I find myself crying in solitude. Never a night passes without a tear. What's going to happen when I leave? Who will take care of him? Who will give him his vitamins? Who will care to ask if he wanted a snack? No matter how small, it still concerns me. I just hope that he won't slip even in the slightest of depression. He's such a softy when it comes to me. I pray that God will grant him the strength to overcome the longing and emptyness.

All this fuss...over my water-wrinkled hands.

Conditioning

It's like stagnant water.
Like time stood still.
Like being catatonic.
Like blood-letting.
I feel drained and useless.
Don't even have the resources to watch a movie.
If I don't leave, I'll probably die a poor man.
I want to go to Papua New Guinea!
A place that embraces us with respect and confidence.
Have to learn to speak in Pidgin.
Don't question my patriotism.
We'll be serving a Filipino community.
That's an understatement.
Earn a living and put some spunk to my otherwise faltering medical career.
Be back in a few years.

Think about this several times a day.
Condition myself.

Keeping Memories

If a photograph is all you've got, wouldn't you keep it?

My BIL's wedding Album:
The price for the Renaissance album sure is worth it. The pictures are also nice. Couldn't say much about it. There isn't really much to say...or see. I was looking forward to see myself in it. I was surprised to find out that they didn't include their guests in the album. It was a lonely picture. Like a low budget movie with no actors. If I wasn't there to see it, I would have guessed that it was unreal. Maybe they wanted the album to be filled with pictorials...as in...scripted and superficial. That's just how I see it. But as I've said, it's still nice... to each his own.

Our wedding album:
Though the leather album lacks the sophistication when compared with the Renaissance, I feel good about it.
The content is more important than the cover. Every tear, every smile, everyone who came, celebrated and honored us with their presence...everything captured. Again, that's just my opinion.
And if you're wondering whatever happened to our album...it's now in the capable hands of Mimi and Karl. I hope it gets restored soon. And just to keep it safe from unmindful spectators, we had a miniature album done. I should have thought about this before!

Wedding Scrapbook:
I'm trying to start this project. It's long overdue. Wedding preps, bumps, and everything in between.

Nada

We're running low and dry.
No income for this week. The clinic has been closed for a few days now. Problems with plumbing, drainage etc... flooding inside. Guess what the new plumber found? There was a bag of dirt inserted and stuck at the elbow of the PVC pipes. Who could have done that? From an insiders point of view, the plumber said that some construction workers intentionally do that so whenever a problem arises, the homeowners would recall them ....hence, another paying job. Crap! This is all bull....

+ + +

A month ago, we started making accessories to sell in PNG.

The good news... it's a flourishing business.

So, we sent another batch of swarovski crystal bracelets, necklaces and earrings.

At least, even if we're not earning here... there's always the Papua market to fall back on.

Pinoy MD

We had the opportunity to meet Dr. Willie T. Ong, the author of the famous Medicine BLUE BOOK today. FYI, almost all medical clerks, interns and physicians have this book on hand. I must say that this book helped me through the endless and nerve-wrecking medical grand rounds. It's so useful and handy that until now, we still use it in our practice.

M.I.N.D is an advocacy and support group for Filipino doctors. We attended a talk about how physicians can improve the quality of healthcare in our country. Honestly, I decided to attend just to get the autographed copy of the book. I thought I was attending an activist meeting. I was wrong. The topics discussed included relevant issues like the MD to RN phenomenon, Brain-drain and Medical Malpractice bill. I must admit that the issue on Brain-drain struck me. With all our plans layed out and in the process of execution, I feel a little guilty about leaving the country. But who can blame a person who only wants to seek a better life? We have been given a chance to practice our profession in a more profitable environment and not everyone is fortunate enough to come across such opportunity. Don't get me wrong. We're not all about the money. We just want to save for our future. When the time is right, we can go back for our residency training without having to worry about the God-foresaken salary. If only more people would understand the plight of Filipino doctors...
Just to shed some light, here's an article that I stumbled upon. Please take time to read it!

Malpractice Issue: A Tough Fight Ahead
By Willie T. Ong, MD

Get ready for war.On the red corner, insurance groups and legislators have made a head start in pushing for several malpractice bills in the Senate. A reliable source has confirmed the hiring of a top lobby group to have these bills approved as soon as possible.On the blue corner, the Philippine Medical Association, led by its president Dr. Bu Castro, has initiated the “Total Recall” project, which asks for the withdrawal of all these bills. The PMA has met with its component associations in charting the battle plan.If you expect an even fight, think again. The multi-million funding of the insurance groups crushes the cash-strapped medical profession in the first round. Estimates show that the insurance groups stand to gain three billion pesos every year. This is from the 60,000 practicing doctors who will have to pay Php 50,000 yearly for malpractice insurance. Thus, it will not come as a surprise if they invest millions in lobby money to pass these bills.For those unaware, not one but five malpractice-related bills are pending in the Senate. Any one of which could spell doom for doctors and healthcare alike. Senator Serge Osmena’s Senate Bill (SB)1720 is self-explanatory: “An Act to protect against medical malpractice, punishing the malpractice of any medical practitioner and requiring them to secure malpractice insurance.” Other controversial bills are Senator Osmena’s SB-337, Senator Manuel Villar’s SB-588 and SB-743, and Senator Juan Flavier’s SB-03.The odds are stacked up against the doctors as prominent media personalities continue with their anti-doctor campaign. And for the defense, can the Philippine Medical Association put up a decent fight?

Implications of Malpractice Bills To The PatientAccording to the PMA president, the ill effects of malpractice bills are already well documented. “First, the cost of healthcare will rise dramatically as doctors practice ‘defensive medicine.’ More and more expensive laboratory test will be requested not for patient’s benefit but to protect the doctor from lawsuits.“Second, surgeons will refuse to operate on high-risk cases. No one will operate on serious but potentially curable cases for fear of lawsuits.“Third, all doctors will be forced to obtain malpractice insurance. This will force many doctors to find another profession or leave for abroad. Eighty-nine percent of doctors cannot afford malpractice insurance.“Fourth, there will be less and less medical missions, because doctors can be sued for treating charity cases.“In short, these Malpractice Bills are anti-poor and anti-patient. The poor can no longer get free health care from medical and surgical missions all over the country. As more and more doctors leave the country or retire early, our health care system will collapse. Thousands of poor people will die.”Dr. Bu Castro has many plans, all of which sound good but without adequate money and other doctor’s support, it may be impossible to accomplish. If for nothing else, the malpractice issue should awaken slumbering doctors from their apathy and rally around their cause.

Alive Again

It's good to be back and blogging again. The past week was so dreary and stagnating... I'm glad it's over! My mom gave me the cold shoulder for some time. That's the longest 2 weeks of my life. I'm not sure if I lost some weight. I couldn't eat dinner properly and enjoy the food because the silence was deafening. Imagine...silent movie.
Finally, she gave up. I missed my mom tremendously. I missed sharing the good news with her. I wanted to tell her that the company name we applied for at Papua New Gueinea got approved already and our application to the medical board is being processed already. She's always the first person I talk to about this. Yesterday, she decided to break her silence. A simple peace offering from her told me what I needed to know. Whew! I thought it would never end. Rejoice!!!

+ + +

I attended some seminars sponsored by a pharmaceutical company and The Philippine Anti-Aging Medical Society (PAAMS) this week. All about vanity and fitness. I was contemplating on penetrating the world of dermatology. I never had the opportunity to affirm my calling into this field of medicine...until now. I got my groove back! Thanks to our friend, Dr. Sarah Barba. She introduced the famous Dr. Joel Mendez to us...the man who started it all. I learned some anti-aging techniques...from botox to the mesotherapy popularized by celebrities. I also saw how some dermatologists look like. My, oh my! I was expecting a lot! I've streotyped them to be the most appealing if not more physically presentable among doctors. I just believe that you should practice what you preach. If its beauty that you're selling, i guess it's only proper to present yourself that way. The least they can do is to take care of their skin. I know I'm being superficial but isn't dermatology also just skin deep? Anyway, I would have gone into training if not for our plan to vanquish the country. After our quest for greener pastures is done, give me at least 3 years for this, I'd definitely pursue a career in dermatology. Wait for me.

While taking a break during the seminar, I took my camera out for some shots. I was on the roofdeck of a building trying to find a nice view or an interesting element when a call center employee made a comment. She bluntly said that I was weird. Darling, I would rather be described as eccentric. What's wrong with photography? Nasty girl!

+ + +

The knots on my back are killing me. All this tension took a toll on me, the result... more MPS (myofascial pain syndrome). A massage would be nice at this point.

To release some pressure, I did what I do best...shopping, eating and movies! I'm feeling much better now!

The night was still young so we attempted to go to baywalk for the 1st time. Despite the drizzle, we went for a stroll. The rain was unforgiving and poured on us. I was already thinking of what to order. Oh well, another nightlife cut short. At least, I can sleep better now.

Barely Breathing

Just like a volcano that's ready to explode, i can't help but but send smoke signals to warn the people around me. It's just how I am.
I do things my way in my own time. Nobody messes up with that. I'm not inflexible. I just want things planned ahead of time. I'm tired of pleasing everybody. That seems to be an impossible thing to do.
Looking back I wonder, why did my mom prefer to accompany the balikbayans instead of spending time with me on the eve of my wedding? Among all nights, it was such a lonely evening. The once in a lifetime experience was just brushed aside. Is their life more important than mine? I remember crying really hard. Imagine me, the only child, spending my last day as a bachelorette alone. Do I deserve less love and attention just because I live a financially comfortable life? While I was walking down the aisle, I wept because I was trying to spill all the bad feelings I have bottled up inside...not because I'm letting go of my past life. I cried because I know that my dad has so much love for me and regrets the time that was lost wandering with the people he couldn't care less. I sure know how to cry. It's one of the things I'm so used to doing. When you spent most of your life in solitude, nobody to talk to, no one to share the burden with...you'd know how good it is to shout! to cry!
Why do I always have to take the fall and suck up the faults I didn't do? Do I always have to make excuses for other people's shortcomings just to save their ass? I'm tired. I'm not a saint like my mom. I am nothing like her. Aside from the family resemblance, we have nothing in common. I'm not saying that she's not a good mother. It's an injustice to say that. She's selfless and giving. Things I can never measure up to. I don't want to be selfless... I want to love myself. Giving is an option and not an obligation. You may think I'm narrowminded. Sure, everybody can say that...but they never took the time to look at things from my stand point. Oh...the things I did just to keep this family together. No one will know that. We're not perfect but I don't want to think that we're broken. There's time to heal and time to just stand still.
For now... I may just be the burden that's too heavy to carry. Mom's greatest enemy. She might be feeling this way. I can't blame her. I don't give her everything that she wants of me. Someday, she'll also know that I'm the only one that's left. I love you, mom! From one bitch to another.

+ + +

I got this forwarded message from my sister-in-law. It pretty much sums up what I believe in. Thanks, Celyn.

Bitchology
" When I stand up for myself and my beliefs, they call me a bitch. When I stand up for those I love, they call me a bitch. When I speak my mind, think my own thoughts or do things my own way, they call me a bitch. Being a bitch means I won't compromise what's in my heart. It means I live my life MY way. It means I won't allow anyone to step on me. When I refuse to tolerate injustice and speak against it, I am defined as a bitch. The same thing happens when I take time for myself instead of being everyone's maid. It means I have the courage and strength to allow myself to be who I truly am and won't become anyone else's idea of what they think I "should" be. I am outspoken, opinionated and determined. I want what I want and there is nothing wrong with that! So try to stomp on me, try to douse my inner flame, try to squash every ounce of beauty I hold within me. You won't succeed. And if that makes me a bitch, so be it. I embrace the title and am proud to bear it !!!! '"
- Anonymous

Running Years

It's my birthday! My 30th! Oh my, oh my, only one year to go before the calendar rejects my age.
It's been a busy day, running all around doing things for other people. Never really had time to celebrate on my own.

The day before...
Maybe God wanted to give me a gift. He sent us a lot of patients for circumcision this week. Thank you Lord! At least, I won't be spending this day empty handed. Being a doctor is not really a business as some may think of it. I still hold on to the belief that it is a calling... to serve and to heal. The monetary matter is just a tiny reward. Everyday, I learn something new. I get to experience first hand the things that I was exposed to only in books. It feels great to conquer your fears. Suddenly, the vagueness of it all just disappears.

Moving on... We fetched my Tita at the Airport. Looked for every blonde lady that came out. Finally, we saw her, brought her home, she distributed the pasalubongs, and luckily, they remembered my birthday. Sigh. I was about to put to test the Pitiful face I've been practicing for days.
As predicted, I got the bulk of the pasalubongs. Brought home a handful of chocolates! My cousins need not argue with this. I'm the eldest, that's why! 2:00AM

We attended the Golden Wedding Anniversary of my dad's bestfriend. Dad stood as one of their principal sponsor. I was moved...just to see all their children gather up and prepare for this event. An occassion such as this is so rare. We were fortunate to take witness. 50 years of love, fidelity and all the things in between. Imagine, such devotion! I can only wish for something like that in the future. If we're lucky enough, I'd love to go though with the same chaos and euphoria as I did when we got married...minus the expenses. 7:00PM

So there goes my day...
I'm sure next year will bring something different, something special. Can't wait!